But the upside is my wife likes hiking as well and after watching my situation she's decided to eat healthier and is down a few pounds herself . The relationship I was in (or so I thought I was) was turning out to be a one-way street on which I was being taken for a long, long, painful ride. Right now I'm in the process of turning my life around. I'm currently 25lbs over-weight. Don't stew in it). Many people have told me that I'm not confident and have negative view on life. I realized that a lot was wonderful about my life, and the person I was, but also that the greatness I could have and be and live was being limited by a few bad habits, limiting beliefs, dysfunctional patterns, and toxic relationships. It is something I struggle with and I for sure have been dealing with low grade/moderate depression at times over the last few years. Making friends requires them. ... 20 Inspiring Films To Watch Before You Turn 30⦠But the relationship will arrive quicker than you think once you make the decision to focus on improving yourself (which it seems like you already have.). Maybe want to lose those 25 pounds. I got a degree in something useless. Others have kids, a family, house, well-paying job and are unhappy because they wish they didn't have so many responsibilities! Then do another if you feel compelled. Maybe, but I never stopped long enough to think about it. But I met people WAY more fucked up than me (and you, I reckon) in rehab. Most people don't save 30% of their salary for retirement. 27 interviews in 3 months is not a failure? Maybe you want a promotion. If you take that rejection, and think... "okay... Moving on" the easier it will be (actually move on though! Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khOaAHK7efc, http://www.businessinsider.com/24-people-who-became-highly-successful-after-age-40-2015-6/, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLKUFYAOoRI. I also need to start thinking about what the next phase of my career is. So it may seem like you fail more than most people, when in fact you're about average. I was never going to hurt myself (I would not have done such a thing to my daughter), but told my wife that I literally did not care if I lived or died. You'll learn that accomplishing your goal didn't change who you are, but you'll find you always could have done more than what you were because you were only holding yourself back. Pick a higherpower of your choosing that allows you to have faith that you can be happy); Leaving the fucking house (parks, game night, museums, farm team baseball etc..); Therapy; 12 step program; The Savvy Psychologist podcast and her book on social anxiety "How to Be Yourself"; Exploring new hobbies/interests; Being vulnerable enough to tell my closest friends (all mine are married now too) the truth about how I was feeling. Healthy Vision When Turning Forty. Iâm on my way to turning it around:), New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, More posts from the AskMenOver30 community. I met so many people like you when I was in CC. Do you have some kind of exercise schedule? I also couldn't keep track of anything and would forget to do stuff and show up at work without supplies that I needed and have to reschedule for the next night. You are doing something about your physical appearance... and you are on the low end of turning 30... That's a great thing! Since the physical world is chaotic and full of uncertainty, life can smack them right in the face and bring that back to reality in a hurry. I am also thinking of getting a second job until the credit card is paid off completely. Before school started, I used subject prep books to get ready, and I was definitely one of the most prepared students on day 1. But man if I had gotten that client just a year or two earlier I absolutely would have wrecked it. Pro tip... Live your life, 'cause they won't live your life for you. I meditated. I find it very difficult to turn my life around at 35. I DEFINITELY have had that voice in my head saying "You are in your late 30s and what have you done! I have a good job now that pays well and I really enjoy. It's great that you started to work out. When you discover your raison d'etre, your reason for existing on this planet (only the individual can define their own meaning in life), you can change your perspective and learn to adapt in order to achieve your desires and goals. I took literally hundreds of LSAT practice tests so that I would qualify for better scholarships. But keep up the good work. Right around the time I turned 35, I got still and quiet and took stock. How can you even class that as a failure, are you 12? Pay is OK, not that great yet since my programming skills are worst. It is possible to turn your life around in a single moment. It's painful to put in all the real numbers and just see how long it will take to fix it, but it's infinite if you don't start somewhere. It sounds like most of your issues stem from a lack of self confidence. About 2 months into the marathon program I discovered low-carb eating. I know people who are pushing 50 to 60 who aren't even close to what you've done. I like having a goal, it keeps me focused and motivated. I run it from the jungle in Costa Rica. I really appreciate it! At 32 my wife sat me down and demanded we split the finances 50/50. Keep working out, and watching what you eat! They might believe that they aren't. Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. My irresponsibility had basically ended up with us about 50 k in debt to the IRS and with another 20 plus k in unsecured debt. I wish I had paid attention to that stuff back when I was your age. Facebook doesn't help, because people under this spell think they need to post, project a life that isn't truly theirs, which in turn makes everyone else feel like they lack. Keep it up! Failed at 27 interviews in the span of last 3 months. Been hiking with the gf a lot to stave off the worst of the tubbiness with mixed results. Thank you so much for your reply and your honesty. Being a virgin. Perspective helps. I look younger for my age. But Ive always wondered, how do you get to weigh over 500? Maybe you want to run a marathon. Around year three of doing all this stuff I ended up landing a huge client that nearly doubled my income.That was a game changer financially and things have continued to improve since then. And based on the Brain Rules book it seemed the best bet was for me to start doing some resistance training and aerobic activity. I'm really sorry that happened to you, Humans really can be a horrible excuse for life sometimes. Remember that you don't see most people's failures, because most people will not present them front and center. To some, it sounds like "don't do anything with your life", but there's so much more to it than that. If you want to get better at talking to women, then do just that. But your desires have to be in the realm of possibility. It's been a lot of shit (and I'm sure some of the shit will always continue in some form) and I'm 35 dude!! Suddenly, youâre supposed to be an actual adult and all your dreams seem like silly childish fantasies, and⦠sorry, I started panicking there for a moment. And thank you for chiming in! Cookies help us deliver our Services. IMO having multiple baby momas/daddyâs would be a failure because it shows lack of commitment. Anyway, I think adopting a pessimistic or optimistic mindset is mostly harmful. Thus far, from a random strangers perspective... Dude you are trending in the positive! Found a better job or great significant other? Consider the positives, and the things that you can directly control. This is the subreddit that will help you finally get up and do what you *know* you need to do. Going forward it might be a good idea to ask interviewers how you can improve. Iâm gonna check out those podcasts now! Your goals may change, but the energy or "life force" that was guiding you remains and will help you shape your reality. 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